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Commentary
Vol 1. No 4. January, 1998
Queer Commentary
Pigs and
Personality
Laura Jimenez
I was reading my email and I saw a something from Dede. It simply said "OINK OINK" as the subject. The first part of the note reads: Try this! No cheating! Dede! On a blank piece of paper draw a pig. After that, there was a few lines of fascist dictatorship that told me not to scroll down or the art police would come after me and break all my pencils.You see, it's a personality test. Your pig is supposed to reveal your innermost secrets. So, take a minute and draw a pig.
To begin with, almost every part of the pig is important, even the placement. If the pig is drawn: Toward the top of the paper, you are positive and optimistic. Toward the middle, you are a realist. Toward the bottom, you are pessimistic, and have a tendency to behave negatively.
Although you can't tell, my pig - we'll call him Nixon - is about in the middle of the paper I drew him on. That signifies that I am a realist. I'll agree to that.
Also, watch where your pig is pointing. That's a choice that will effect not only you but the rest of your family and friends. Facing left, you believe in tradition, are friendly, and remember dates (birthdays, etc.) Facing right, you are innovative and active, but don't have a strong sense of family, nor do you remember dates. Facing front (looking at you), you are direct, enjoy playing devil's advocate and neither fear nor avoid discussions. Nixon is facing the right side on the paper. This means I'm "innovative."
Now you have to be your own art critic: With many details, you are analytical, cautious, and distrustful. With few details, you are emotional and naive, you care little for details and are a risk-taker. The size of the ears indicates how good a listener you are. The bigger the better. The length of the tail indicates the quality of your sex life. The personality test does not address one key element of this process. What kind of a life do you have if you take time out of it to draw a pig to see what you are like.
Shouldn't you know yourself better than a pig named Nixon??? But perhaps Freud was right. Sometimes a cigar might just be a cigar.
Copyright 1997 by Laura Jimenez.
Visit the Hear Me Out Web site at www.neponset.com/hearme.
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